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Blurbage

Posted on June 9th, 2009 by annakjarzab

ARCs are used for a bunch of different things. Publicity sends them to reviewers; marketing gives them away in contests (and…other stuff, probably). Authors send them to their mothers and fathers, who show them off to relatives and coworkers regardless of the age of said author. Editors send them to other authors, bigger name authors who might just say something nice that they can put on the cover of the finished product.

My ARCs are coming sometime this week, which means my editor will be sending them out to other people, people way more established in the industry than I am, so they can read it and maybe blurb me. I just want you to know, if nobody likes or wants to blurb my book I HAVE IT COVERED. My friend Mary (alternately known in these parts as MD, Tha Dubbs, Her Royal Dubbsness, etc.), who has an unspecified job at an unspecified publisher and knows from blurbs, generously offered to provide a couple for the cover of All Unquiet Things if, for some reason, the whole blurbing thing goes horribly awry. If I’m extremely unlucky, one of these gems may end up on the AUT cover:

“She’s my friend, so take this with a grain of salt, but it was pretty good for a first try.”

or

“I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would.”

or

“On a scale of 1 to 10, it was a good, solid 6. That’s a D. And you know what they say: Ds get degrees. I would say maybe this earned an associate’s degree from Normandale Community College, where my Aunt Patty Jo got her nursing degree. I mean, it’s definitely not a Harvard D–that’s like a Normandale A++, which isn’t even allowed. But definitely would be accredited somewhere. Good work, AUT. You’re a plumber. ‘Read nights and weekends! At your own pace!’

I could keep going, but I won’t.”

OR (my favorite)

“Not terrible.”*

Vote for your favorite in the comments!

*You should know that Tha Dubbs didn’t actually say this about my book, but a different one altogether. If that author doesn’t want to use it, though, I’m all over it.**
**Also, she hasn’t actually read my book. She’s waiting for the ARC.

10 Responses to “Blurbage”

Mary on June 9th, 2009 at 2:08 pm Said:

“More fun than a trip to the gyno!”
“The cover’s great, isn’t it?”
“Forgettable–in a good way!”

I love this game.

annakjarzab on June 9th, 2009 at 2:14 pm Said:

How about “Perfectly adequate”?

annakjarzab on June 9th, 2009 at 2:16 pm Said:

This should be my first ARC contest–best backhanded blurb wins!

Kim on June 9th, 2009 at 3:55 pm Said:

What about “Help for the insomniac in all of us”?

BERK on June 9th, 2009 at 4:50 pm Said:

“I love your pretty blue dress!” — Ally Carter.

annakjarzab on June 9th, 2009 at 4:56 pm Said:

LOL little did Ally know that was going to go on my book. With Berk as my witness, that was a BLURB!

annakjarzab on June 9th, 2009 at 4:57 pm Said:

Kim, that’s amazing. My book=the literary equivalent of Ambien. (Not really, people who might buy/read it! It’s really good! Don’t listen to these jerks!)

courtney on June 12th, 2009 at 1:46 am Said:

I am now saving any potential backhanded blurbs in case you DO have a related ARC contest.
And you totally should.

Just sayin’.

Natalie Hatch on June 14th, 2009 at 8:07 pm Said:

You have a great friend, what fantastic comments she made. How about “It’s her debute novel, how bad can it be?”

Natalie Hatch on June 14th, 2009 at 8:07 pm Said:

sorry spelled debut wrong

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