Posted on May 6th, 2010 by annakjarzab
Admittedly, I’ve only watched about ten minutes of Tuesday night’s episode of Glee because I thought it was on on Wednesdays and also yesterday was Cinco de Drinko (I have a life, you guys, and friends, I bet you forgot JUST KIDDING I know you know I’m very busy and popular), but I did catch some clips on Jezebel and while the episode itself seems like yet another stinker (remember how YAWN last week’s episode was? I do, because I just watched it two days ago and also I wrote this blog post), I found Rachel and Jesse’s performance of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” actually very sad and poignant.
Okay, so Rachel is very often the worst (in the best way, naturally, but I wouldn’t want to know her), and after trying to browbeat Finn into dating her/sing him to death she finally found someone whose booked the same flight and hotel for their MASSIVE ego trip that she did and it’s a match made in Narcissism Cove or whatever (did that make any sense?). My point is: Jesse + Rachel 4 LYFE. But also, in the end it’s always been Rachel + Rachel 4 LYFE because deep down Rachel never thought that anyone would “get” her (i.e. “tolerate” her), so WTF does Rachel do when someone tries to puncture her oversized opinion of herself that is usually kept intact only by virtue of the walls of delusion she keeps high around herself to stave off the near constant assaults to her actually very fragile self-esteem? She acts like a total idiot and makes a woefully misguided attempt to seem “sexy” by singing “Run Joey Run” with three different guys in some weird video that nobody but the glee club kids are ever going to see and they’re already pretty set in their impressions of her (negative). OF COURSE SHE DOES. She’s Rachel. She actually doesn’t understand the meaning of sexy. She and Jesse should’ve done some hot song/dance routine in the cafeteria at lunch wearing skimpy clothing if she wanted to spice up her image. At least that makes sense. Or she should just come to terms with the fact that Jesse thinks she’s sexy (we think? I’m still confused by their relationship and whether or not Jesse is actually in it for Rachel or for Vocal Adrenaline or at first for Vocal Adrenaline but now for Rachel or what) and that’s enough because WHO CARES.
Ugh, Rachel. But still, I’m a big fan of this “Total Eclipse of the Heart” video and I’ll miss Jonathan Groff when he’s gone.
Posted on May 5th, 2010 by annakjarzab
Guess what you guys? Jonathan Groff is maybe probably sorta kinda coming back to Glee next season! (I think that picture is of Groff and Lea Michelle, even though she looks like Penelope Cruz. Or maybe it’s Penelope Cruz? Hard to tell.) This is good, because I was just whining to my coworker today about how it was rude of them to waste one of Groff’s six episodes last week (that boring “Home” episode) by just having him stand in the background and sing back-up on “Beautiful” without having any lines or much to do when we know that he has nefarious plots a-brewin’ and I would like to know about those plots please thank you!
I THINK IT AND THEN IT HAPPENS. I have to figure out a way to harness this power for evil–I mean good–just kidding, of course I mean evil.
Related: Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence are getting their own sitcom on ABC Family! Did you guys see My Fake Fiance? It was so stupid! But it turns out that Joey Lawrence is kind of scrumptious? Anyway, for pure camp factor this is great news.
AND: Apparently a Breaking Dawn movie is so in the works that they’ve hired a director? I don’t know how they’re going to make Renesmee at all believable, so I’m glad that’s not my job.
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Posted on April 14th, 2010 by annakjarzab
Whoa! What a terrible pun you guys! I’m losing my touch (I never had a touch, who am I kidding). But you get where I’m going with this–Glee came back last night. And lo, it was good. This blog post will contain spoilers, so if you can’t take the heat, get out of my kitchen (for now! But you can totally come back soon! I love you!).
First, I’m going to start with the things I would do if I was in charge of Glee:
1.) Make the show more like a musical, less like a show about a glee club. Because let’s face it, the ridiculous maneuvering they use each week to force upon us a certain theme (this episode’s theme, “Hello”, was particularly nonsensical–but fun!) or integrate music into the plot is silly and unnecessary. I’d rather most of the songs in the show play like Diana Agron’s “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”, where it’s the character singing their feelings and internal monologue, instead of presenting us with five new set songs each week–like they’re really going to perform all of that stuff at regionals.
2.) Draw out story lines longer. Like the Rachel/Puck hookup from last season. It was hilarious, and it happen for five seconds. This is something Gossip Girl does ALL THE TIME, and now it’s the third season and the show is patently stupid 95% of the time. Don’t waste what you have, show! Rachel and Puck are going to start dating? Great! Give us three episodes of that. The quicker things change, the faster you run out of options.
3.) Can we make Mr. Schuester less of a creeper? I don’t think it’s intentional, which is the most discomforting part. I think the show thinks he’s charming, but actually he’s sort of smug and…predatory? It might just be a Matthew Morrison problem (I mean, what can you do with a guy who humbly refers to his upcoming solo album as “a cross between Justin Timberlake and Michael Buble”?), but can we try to fix it somehow?
4.) More Puck! He had exactly one line in this episode. What’s up with that? There might be better singers on the show (and, okay, I don’t watch for the story, mostly just the music), but he’s easily the funniest actor. He needs more time on screen! And, hi, we all swooned for his “Sweet Caroline,” so it’s not like the boy can’t perform.
All of my problems with this week’s episode come from those suggestions above. No Puck (no Quinn for that matter, or Artie or Tina), creepy Mr. Schu, ridiculous finagling of songs into glee club situations instead of just singing them because they express how the characters feel (explain to me how it’s possible that the glee club is always on the edge of disbanding due to funding/space allocation, but they always have a full band/orchestra around to provide backup for everyday rehearsal–would TOTALLY BE BELIEVABLE if the singing was entirely in the character’s head), and my sneaking suspicion that we’ll be seeing the back of Jesse St. James just as we grow to adore him. Of course, I already adore him, because I’m pretty sure he’s going to try to screw with New Directions by screwing with Rachel’s head, only to really fall for her and have a CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE! at which time we’ll be really rooting for them to work it out. Plus, I think Jonathan Groff and Lea Michele still have that Spring Awakening chemistry, and I’m looking forward to their romantic scenes.
Posted on September 25th, 2009 by annakjarzab
Okay, so listen: I could do the schpiel where I say “I’m such a bad blogger!” and “OMG so long since I blogged!” but you guys are tired of that, right? I should think so. I mean, I do it EVERY WEEK now–sometimes not even that often!
So instead, something new and different! Not so new or different, but whatever. My thoughts on TV plus a boring personal story. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Obviously, Glee is the best show on television right now (and I say this EVEN THOUGH Gossip Girl is rocking my world because Chuck and Blair are doing the relationship thang and it is so so so amazingly cute, obviously). I mean, come on, musical television? It’s not an easy thing to do–ask the writers/actors of Viva Laughlin or Cop Rock (see what I did there, Tony? Stole stuff right from your trivia night). But Glee gets it right because it’s a high school show, so it gets more leeway for ridiculousness, plus it’s got some hyper-realism going on, like Ugly Betty or Pushing Daisies–everything is brighter than normal, everyone has a heightened personality, the jokes are more extreme, etc. You get that you’re in another world, and you buy it. Plus, the music, a great blend of show tunes, glee club standards, and pop/hip-hop, is to die. I’ve downloaded many a song from Glee that I’d never had any interest in before the show–and I’d rather listen to the Glee versions than the originals.
What does this have to do with me, other than I like the show? SO GLAD YOU ASKED. (Although you won’t be, in a second.)
See, this week (if you haven’t seen it, spoilers ahead, sort of), Kurt joined the football team to make his dad proud/cover up his flamboyant behavior. Except, through Will’s interference, he ends up teaching the entire team the “All the Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” dance, supposedly because they need to learn rhythm and fluidity, to loosen up and relax on the field, or whatever. Mostly an excuse to play “Single Ladies” 87 times! But anyway, Kurt was like, Hey, what a good intimidation tactic–nobody’s going to expect you to bust a move on the football field, to Beyonce no less! And eventually the team comes around, and that’s exactly what they do, and then they WIN THE GAME BECAUSE OF IT. Behold, the McKinley High School football team dancing to “All the Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)”:
I lost my mind when I watched that the first time, and again every subsequent time (I’ve watched it a lot). I mean, pure joy. What’s better than that?
Anyway, the reason I felt it was necessary to blog about this was that when I was a senior in high school I moved to California and transferred schools. I was a competitive swimmer in high school, so I joined the swim team when I got there. Now, my old swim team was huge, disciplined and super competitive. The caliber of talent on the team was so fierce that I was never on varsity, even though I was a decent swimmer. We did morning practice three days a week and every day after school, on holidays and over breaks, and we won most of our meets.
But my new school, though it had a swim team, was not competitive at all. I was on varsity, which should tell you something, and was one of the best swimmers on the team. We lost all of our meets except two, and one of those was a forfeit. You see what I’m saying? Not so great. The thing was, I had an amazing time on that team, and I was basically miserable on my old team. My life revolved around the SHS swim team, and we worked so hard, and people were so self-centered and awful in some ways. It was just really difficult and stopped being fun, but it was my entire world so I could never imagine quitting. But the DHS swim team was so fun, because nobody took it too seriously–nobody planned on competing in the Olympics or winning state or getting a scholarship. We were just there because we liked to swim.
And we decided that, if we weren’t going to be good, we were going to be memorable, so one of our JV boys swimmers choreographed a dance to a very special song. You may have heard it, and if not, after you do, you’ll never forget it:
Yeah. We started out every meet by dancing to “Tunak Tunak.” It was so awesome, and still one of my favorite things about high school. We just looked totally crazy. Good times.