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  • I read a lot, and I have a lot of opinions, so I can't believe I haven't made a list like this before. If you are even a little bit like me or you want to get a peek into my psyche (you probs don't), these are the books to read.

Posts Tagged ‘movies’

Black is the Color…of a movie screen! (*headdesk* ugh *sigh*)

Posted on April 21st, 2011 by annakjarzab

(Why am I the worst at coming up with subject lines for my blog posts, you guys? Really, I’m awful. Take the blog away from me!)

I just wanted to pop on to tell you (if you hadn’t already heard elsewhere) that the film rights to my friend Alex’s BRILLIANT sci-fi trilogy about a near-future America in which, upon puberty, children either die or develop frightening psionic powers, where those that survive the so-called “Kid Killer virus” are experimented upon and placed in internment camps, have been optioned!

My love for BLACK IS THE COLOR is well documented on this blog, so as you can probably imagine I’m BEYOND pumped. It’s hard for a person like me to love a book so much and not be able to talk to anybody about it, since I want to talk about everything, all the time. I can read The Hunger Games (as I am doing now, rereading it, actually, and also I’ve moved on to Catching Fire) and chat about it for hours with my coworkers, my friends (who’ve all read the series), people on Facebook, etc. It’s painful to love a book nobody else but a few privileged few have read yet! So I can’t wait for it to come out (summer 2012!), and I’m crossing my fingers for a film version, although I’m not quite sure there’s a young actor in the world who can live up to the Liam in my head (as evidenced by my hesitancy to accept Josh Hutcherson as Peeta).

Yay! Go Alex!

The Oscars are officially senile

Posted on February 28th, 2011 by annakjarzab

Seriously, what was the Oscars last night? Somebody must’ve gotten fired afterwards, right? Like, everyone who worked on the Oscars got fired? Because if not, then something is really wrong with ABC. Because that show was NUTS. I felt like I was on drugs (not that I know what that feels like). That part where they brought out Kirk Douglas and he just babbled for a long time? I didn’t even realize he was presenting an award until someone brought him that envelope! And then they fought? Over his cane? I don’t get it! Was there anything to get? Was it a joke? And then how the first two Best Song performances were completely inaudible? I like that Toy Story 3 song! I would’ve liked to have heard Randy Newman sing it! (Also, did anyone else know that the guy from Chuck was in Tangled and/or could sing? I didn’t!) And how Anne Hathaway kept screwing up her lines the whole time (I did not find that charming, although I generally like her)? And how she sang that weird song about how Hugh Jackman wouldn’t perform with her this year even though she performed with him when he hosted? That was super weird! And boring! Which is WORSE.

Anyway, that’s my opinion: pretty bad. Which is exactly how my ballot ended up turning out. Behold.

Best Picture: The King’s Speech Yay! That is indeed what won!
Best Director: Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan Whoops! Tom Hooper totally won this for The King’s Speech.
Best Actor: Javier Bardem for Biutiful Whoops! No, in fact, Javier Bardem does NOT win all the Oscars–Colin Firth won this for The King’s Speech. (Side note: MR. DARCY 4 LYFE!)
Best Actress: Natalie Portman for Black Swan Ugh, yes, this happened. And she said that weird thing in her acceptance speech about how “her love” (that guy who choreographed Black Swan that is her fiance now) “gave her the best role of all” and then she touched her belly? Did anyone else find that creepy? There’s a better way to say that, Natalie.
Best Supporting Actor: Geoffrey Rush for The King’s Speech Booo! Christian Bale won this! He’s the worst!
Best Supporting Actress: Helena Bonham Carter for The King’s Speech Whoops! Melissa Leo won. I have no opinion about this except that A. her dress was weird and B. her acceptance speech was annoying. I’m sure she was great in The Fighter, though.
Best Original Screenplay: Inception: Christopher Nolan So the guy who wrote The King’s Speech won this, which I would normally be like, BOOOO, because I wanted to be right and also I thought Inception was great and it didn’t win anything except technical awards but then it turns out that this guy who wrote The King’s Speech was a stammerer and also that he had to wait for the Queen Mum to die to make this movie and by that time he was old and couldn’t get an agent to represent the screenplay and it was a heartwarming story and now I’m on board. If I had KNOWN all of that I would have PICKED him, but alas.
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network: Aaron Sorkin Got this one right! NAILING IT!

Obviously I ended up losing the contest, but that’s okay. Because I got this in return. I don’t know what’s happening with WordPress right now, but I can’t seem to embed YouTube videos. However, if you click that link it will take you to the Oscars autotune, which is pretty great and special and all the good things. You’re welcome.

In closing, here are a few of my favorite dresses of the night. You’re welcome! Happy Oscars everyone!




My official Oscar ballot

Posted on February 25th, 2011 by annakjarzab

My friend Joe is having an Oscars party on Sunday and he sent around an online ballot for us all to fill out (I believe there are prizes involved). These were my picks:

Best Picture: The King’s Speech
Best Director: Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan
Best Actor: Javier Bardem for Biutiful
Best Actress: Natalie Portman for Black Swan
Best Supporting Actor: Geoffrey Rush for The King’s Speech
Best Supporting Actress: Helena Bonham Carter for The King’s Speech
Best Original Screenplay: Inception: Christopher Nolan
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network: Aaron Sorkin

Now, I don’t really want Natalie Portman to win because, while I liked Black Swan, it was sort of silly and over-the-top and so was her acting. And also I just generally don’t like her very much. And I’m not attached to Javier Bardem winning for Best Actor, but I feel like he wins all the Oscars, so it feels like a safe bet.

As for Best Picture, I’ve actually seen most of the nominated movies, with the exception of 127 Hours (because, you know, je refuse), The Fighter and The Kids Are All Right. While I think it’s probably going to be either The King’s Speech (which I did love) or The Social Network (also really enjoyed that), I feel sorry for Christopher Nolan, because Inception was an entirely original thing that he created and it feels a bit like his magnum opus. It’s unfair to me that, like, Shakespeare in Love, in the running for the worst movie of all time and also a completely inaccurate portrayal of Shakespeare, won an Oscar and Inception might get overshadowed by newer, buzzier (which is CRAZY because Inception was hella buzzy!) movies like The Social Network.

I’m interested to see how it goes, and I’ll let you know if I win a prize!

A night at the movies

Posted on December 20th, 2010 by annakjarzab

Ever since I heard about Black Swan I’ve wanted to see it, but I didn’t think anyone would go with me. That’s fine, because I don’t mind seeing movies alone, but I do find it hard to get motivated and usually just wait until they come out on DVD. But lo and behold, my friend Nikki wanted to see it too, so last night we went to the Lincoln Plaza theaters to watch it.

Okay, a few words about the Lincoln Plaza theaters. They’re on 64th and Broadway, right across from Lincoln Center, where the New York City Ballet, School of American Ballet, the Metropolitan Opera, the New York City Opera, the New York Philharmonic, and the Julliard School, among others, live and perform. It’s an indie/revival theater (I mean, for instance, there were signs on the ticket booth windows for Shoah, which was being shown in two sittings with a fifteen intermission) with a downscale look and lots of upscale clientele (ladies in minks, basically).

So you would think that people would know how to conduct themselves like civilized human beings! But that is not so. Lincoln Plaza has a couple of theaters, but none the size of those sprawling ones at the AMC up the street–these are small, intimate theaters with normal sized screens and about two hundred and fifty seats or whatever. Even though they were showing Black Swan about 10 times that day, our theater still filled up very quickly and space was limited. Nikki and I were early enough to get seats with no problem. The first indication that this was perhaps not the moviegoing experience we were hoping for was when a woman, trying to get to her seat on the other side of me, charged past me flinging her coat and bag and knocked our bucket of popcorn over so that half of it spilled right down the front of my sweater.

Then–oh, then. Just as the lights were going down and the previews started rolling, these two girls in puffy jackets entered the row about three rows in front of us, intending to sit in two empty seats in the center. The woman who was sitting next to the empty seats told them no, that she was saving them for people. The girls insisted that there were no other seats in the theater, that they had purchased tickets and were entitled to sit in the seats, which were not currently occupied by anyone. Now, if me and my friends had been the girls, we would’ve just said, “Okay, the seats are taken, let’s figure something else out” and walked away. But this was, as Nikki said, the perfect storm of two aggressive groups of people who would just not back down. The woman who was saving the seats stood up and began screaming at the girls that they couldn’t have the seats, her friends’ coats and bags were on them, etc. The girls shot back that the movie was starting and her friends weren’t there–thus, the seats were up for grabs and they were taking them.

The girls sat down in the empty seats and the woman yelled at them as she grabbed her friends’ things off them. She would not shut up about it, and when the man sitting behind her leaned forward and asked her to please shut up, she said, “Don’t you tell me what to do! And don’t you touch me! Don’t you touch me!” He wasn’t touching her that I could see.

A minute or so passed, and finally these supposed friends came barrelling down the right aisle. The woman loudly announced to them–while the movie was actually starting–that the girls had taken the seats, and one of the newly arrived friends cried, “Oh no they are not sitting in our seats! That is so disrespectful!” Let us not forget that at the moment this was happening, Natalie Portman was literally dancing on the screen–the movie was playing! And who is being disrespectful? TO EVERYONE ELSE IN THE THEATER. This latecomer charged through the aisle and, under the pretense of “looking for her coat”, which her friend had already removed from the seat, actually physically pushed the girl who was sitting in the seat out of the seat and proceeded to sit down in it!

Eventually the girls gave up and left (after being physically ejected from the seats, what more was there for them to do than to start a fight, which even they were smart enough to know was a bad idea) and I have no idea what happened to them. There were some half-hearted threats of calling the cops, which would’ve been the dumbest think in the history of the world–and note that not once during this whole fracas did the people who actually administrate the theater come in to intervene.

But that wasn’t the only rude/bizarre bit of behavior we saw (just the most entertaining and dramatic). In the middle of the movie, this girl a row in front of me and a few seats to the right was texting and the girl sitting behind her kept punching the back of her chair to get her to stop texting! I was appalled. I mean, yes, the light from the phone was annoying, and what are you doing texting during a movie–not just texting, but, like, surfing the Internet?–but it wasn’t in any way distracting from my enjoyment of the movie. It was no reason for the woman behind her to punch her chair repeatedly until she stopped!

Long-winded story, I know, but I just could not believe the nerve of some people. This is a nice part of town, in a movie theater; it’s not the freaking roller derby! Behave yourselves! New Yorkers have a reputation of being a little rough around the edges, but in my experience most people are pretty nice, or at the very least completely apathetic. I’m not surprised to see people pick a fight in a theater, but yet I am, if that makes any sense. Is it weird that I expect adults to behave like adults and not like monsters?

Happy Christmas everybody! Oh, and if you were wondering what I thought of Black Swan–that shit be weird. Maybe I’ll post about it later in the week. I need to process.

Will someone put the Duchess’s hair out?

Posted on December 15th, 2010 by annakjarzab

So last night I watched The Duchess. You remember The Duchess? It came out this year (I think…?) and it starred the Period Piece Wonder, Kiera Knightley, Voldemort himself Ralph Fiennes, Dominic Cooper (who will never be attractive to me ever, even ripped or in a wig or not in a wig), and lots of children because OMG so many children in this movie! People had a lot of children back then, especially when they were randomly having quasi-polygamous marriages and/or affairs every five seconds. The good old days!


Anyway, if you don’t know, The Duchess is about Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire, who lived at approximately the same time as Marie Antoinette, was friends with her, and had a lot in common with her (fashion, gambling, a famously tabloidesque lifestyle, complete ridiculousness when it comes to money in general), but the movie doesn’t touch on that at all, which is really too bad, but it had a lot of wigs to set on fire, so we have to forgive it. So many wigs, so little time! There were a lot of wigs in this movie, ALMOST as many wigs as children, plus if you count the Whigs who were in this movie, the number goes up, so. I can tell this “review” is already getting out of hand.

Georgiana (pronounced George-AY-na, because I don’t know why; when I first heard it, I was like, “Hm, that actor is pronouncing it weird,” but then they all pronounced it weird, when they weren’t just flat out calling her “G”, so that’s that, I guess) was married at a very early age (17, which is actually not that young for back then, seeing as Marie Antoinette was married to Louis when she was fourteen) to the cold, boring Duke of Devonshire. The Duke is unimpressed with his wife and more interested in his dogs, especially when Georgiana only manages to have two daughters (not counting the daughter that he fathered with a maid that she then had to take care of!) and no sons. He is not happy about this, as evidenced by the fact that they traveled in different carriages that one time, and also that he decides that Georgiana’s best friend, Lady Elizabeth Foster, who has been tossed out of her house and kept away from her children by her abusive husband and now lives with them, is going to be his second wife–not just his mistress, but basically ANOTHER WIFE! Georgiana is mad for about five seconds, but then gets over it, because she’d really like to take a second husband–Charles Gray (EARL GRAY, like the tea), who is a Whig politician who hopes to be Prime Minister some day. This is where Dominic Cooper comes in, completely unconvincing as a politician, a Prime Minister candidate, a person living in the 1780s, or a man you would ever want to have an affair with ever. The Duke, as you can imagine, is hypocritically NOT ON BOARD with this plan, but then he tells her that if she gives him a son she can do as she pleases. FAMOUS LAST LIES!

So Georgiana gives him a son and she assumes that then she should be able to conduct her life however she pleases. Her sister-wife, Elizabeth, gets Gray to come over and give G the business, and they have an affair until the Duke finds out and is, again, and not surprisingly, NOT ON BOARD. He threatens that if she doesn’t stop seeing Gray he’ll destroy Gray’s political career and also keep her children away from her as long as he lives and breathes. First she picks Gray, but then quickly decides that’s crazy and picks her kids, ending her affair with Gray, but not before SHE BEARS HIS ILLEGITIMATE CHILD in some drafty house in France or whatever and is forced to give it away to Gray’s parents who raise her as Gray’s sister. Fabulous! Royals are so good at family values, you guys, it’s amazing we don’t still have more monarchies.

There’s a softball “bittersweet” ending and the obligatory biopic text-on-screen informing us that Gray did eventually become Prime Minister, Georgiana died early (48) and with her blessing her sister-wife became the only wife (a.k.a. the new Duchess of Devonshire), and that Georgiana visited her illegitimate daughter Eliza in secret (which, from perusing the Wikipedia page, seems to be kind of not true? Since Eliza didn’t know G was her mother until after G was dead? But why quibble).

This movie was problematic for so many reasons. I’m not Dr. Biopic or anything, but I think they’re supposed to, like, explore the character and internal struggles of the people they’re biopicking* instead of basically presenting a time line of sadsauce moments in their life and going LOOK HOW SAD and also how many wigs can we set on fire? Because guys:


This was the point where I thought, “Okay, this movie is hella stupid.”

Say whatever you want about the Sophia Coppola Marie Antoinette that I love so much, but that movie had style, man. It was pretty and silly and interesting and vibrant and fun to watch. This was just a tableau of Kiera Knightley in some dresses and wigs (only some of which were set on fire!) making constipated expressions that were supposed to denote anguish. I mean, yes, it sounds like G got screwed in many ways (especially the marriage department, because woof), as women tended to do back then, but also she had a pretty sweet life. She was crazy rich and it wasn’t like Dominic Cooper Gray was her only lover, she went to tons of parties and hobnobbed with the elite, and she got to wear a lot of cool dresses and wigs (only some of which were set on fire!). I’m not trying to be unsympathetic here, but if you’re going to call the movie The Duchess, perhaps you should spend more time exploring who she really was on a deeper level than you do on telling us the Duke really really loved his dogs. We get it! He thinks his dogs are the best! Fair enough, dogs are awesome. But it’s really not the focal point of the movie, or it shouldn’t be, unless you changed the movie title to The Duke and His Dogs, in which case go for it, but I doubt anyone would pay to see that movie.

I think probably Georgiana was a lot of fun, to be honest, and they don’t show that at all. Despite how grotesquely rich and out of touch she was, given how she was also so political, people loved her! She had lots of friends and was very popular, but the only nod to the fact that G was the life of the party was: A. When sister-wife Elizabeth (pre-sister-wifedom) tells Gray (pre-affair) that “The Duke is the only person not in love with his wife,” and B. when her wig gets set on fire (do I have to tell you that she was drunk at the time? Well, she was). Did she never have fun? Wasn’t she maybe a little bit vain? Why was she so political and how instrumental was she in actually getting people elected? I just don’t buy this presentation of Georgiana as this Ultimate Tragic Female, in the way that I don’t buy Marie Antoinette as one, though I certainly understand that not everything in her life (especially that bit at the end) was easy.

The Duchess isn’t really a bad movie, it’s just not a very good one. Like The Other Boleyn Girl, it seems to serve only to give us a lot of pretty period outfits to look at, which is nice and all, I appreciate that, but if it can’t be deep, it should be fun, and it was neither. Still, it’s available on Netflix Watch Instantly, so if you have a spare two hours and need something to put on in the background while you’re sorting laundry, it’s a pretty decent option. Or you could watch Penelope, which is also on Watch Instantly and stars James McAvoy and which I also watched last night, for the eleventy billionth time (exact number). You know what The Duchess could’ve used? James McAvoy.

*Not a word.

Friday Night Lookalikes revisited

Posted on November 19th, 2010 by annakjarzab

Remember back in the day (July 28th, 2008 to be exact) when I pointed out that Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl) and Minka Kelly (Friday Night Lights) look so alike it’s almost ridiculous? Well, they’re starring in a movie together.


So obviously Hollywood has been reading my blog.

Steal this meme!

Posted on September 16th, 2010 by annakjarzab

Alex posted this meme on her blog, and because I’m lazy about blog content today, I’m stealing it!

5 Books I’ve Read Recently
1. It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini
2. Our Tragic Universe by Scarlett Thomas
3. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle (fun fact here!)
4. Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen
5. The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen

5 Books I’m Planning to Read (in the near future)
1. Paranormalcy by Kiersten White
2. Dreamland by Sarah Dessen
3. Blameless by Gail Carriger
4. Ascendant by Diana Peterfreund
5. Autobiography by Agatha Christie

5 of My Favorite Books
1. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
2. Hey Nostradamus! by Douglas Coupland
3. Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader by Anne Fadiman
4. Atonement by Ian McEwan
5. The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate by Nancy Mitford

5 of My Least Favorite Books
1. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
2. I Am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe
3. The Frog King by Adam Davies
4. The Emperor’s Children by Claire Messud
5. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

5 of My Favorite Book-to-Film Adaptations
1. Atonement
3. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
4. The Princess Bride
5. Clueless

Eat, pray, sleep

Posted on August 16th, 2010 by annakjarzab

Like every other lady in the United States (and abroad!), I read Eat, Pray, Love when it came out in trade paperback a couple of years ago. And I enjoyed it! I mean, okay. I recognize that it’s a problematic thing, the way in which scores of women admire Elizabeth Gilbert for taking her considerable book advance and her apparent infinite amount of free time to go “find herself” in Italy, India and Indonesia for a year when most people–hm, I would say almost all people–don’t have the luxury of time or money and therefore our breakdowns tend to be a bit less glamorous, to use my roommate’s word. But I understand (or at least I think I do) what it feels like to be at your wits end, to feel lost and separated from yourself and all of that great existential ahngst, and to need to run away. And I think Elizabeth Gilbert herself is a smart lady, and she’s got a fun, self-deprecating voice, which, if you are a self-deprecating person (as I am), you appreciate. And who doesn’t want to go to Italy and eat pizza?! Travel memoir + story about a woman having a nervous breakdown + humor = something I’d reasonably enjoy, and possibly recommend to somebody else.

You know what’s NOT something I would recommend to somebody else? The Eat, Pray, Love movie. I don’t care how many Florence + the Machine songs you play in the trailer, you are not getting my vote, Eat, Pray, Love movie! I’m mad enough that I paid $13 to see you, I would not inflict that on anybody else. First of all, Elizabeth Gilbert’s voice is completely gone, even though they use ACTUAL VOICE OVER with ACTUAL SENTENCES from the ACTUAL BOOK, all the magic of Gilbert’s personality is gone like dust on the wind. Maybe they picked the wrong lines, or maybe Julia Roberts isn’t funny enough, or maybe the movie takes itself way too seriously and therefore Julia Roberts was told not to be funny…I don’t know. They do a bad job of setting up the reasons for Liz’s breakdown (two men love me, waaaah–it’s more complicated than that, obviously, but not dealt with as such in the movie), and then the rest of it? Is just BORING.

Seriously. I was so bored. I was completely not entertained. The movie had no plot, which is fine for a memoir with a different narrative agenda, but not for a movie. It was just a bunch of disjointed vignettes clumped together in categories: Eat/Italy/Learn to be okay with getting fat; Pray/India/Get yelled at by a Texan guy who was way more interesting in the book; Love/Bali/Fall for a dude. Ugh, so boring. My friend Nikki actually fell asleep all through the India section.

I guess Javier Bardem was okay. I thought he was pretty funny, actually, the only genuinely amusing character/actor in the film (except his hot Australian son, who was also amusing and nice to look at). Except I kept thinking he was Jeffery Dean Morgan. Like, I really believed that, until we left the theater and I was like, “Wow, Jeffery Dean Morgan, who knew he could do that accent?” and my friends were like, “Uh…that’s Javier Bardem.” I even argued! That’s how sure I was that it was Jeffery Dean Morgan. Oh well.

But you know what? Read Eat, Pray, Love. Accept that it’s self-centered and narcissistic and envy Liz Gilbert the money and time that allowed her to really wallow in her own misfortune (so much of it self-inflicted!), when really that’s what all of us want to do. You think I don’t want to jet off to Italy right now? And if I didn’t have a job that I needed to, like, pay rent and shizz, I would TOTALLY DO IT. So I’m not going to begrudge her. I liked Eat, Pray, Love–THE BOOK. And I really loved this TED talk she gave about how being a writer, or any sort of creative person, is about showing up and doing the work and being stubborn and not throwing in the towel even though you want to. It’s pretty bomb.

Dreams come true

Posted on July 27th, 2010 by annakjarzab

I just happened to see this on Tumblr today and because it makes me so happy, I am posting it here:

500 Days of Summer Dance Sequence from Chris Bale on Vimeo.

Funny thing about Hall & Oates. This weekend, we were driving all over God’s green goodness (Long Island) looking for a Panera Bread because now that I know there’s Panera on Long Island I am insisting upon eating there every time, Kim (who is a compulsive radio tuner) landed on a station that was playing Hall & Oates’ “She’s Gone.” Cambria was like, “What is this?” like it’s not the best thing in the whole damn world, and I was like, “Duh, it’s Hall & Oates!” She and Kim both sort of stared at me and said, “You say that like we’re supposed to know this song. This is not a famous Hall & Oates song!” Um, it is a famous Hall & Oates song. Right? At this point, I’ve listened to Hall & Oates so much (my dad is a superfan) that I cannot tell what is and is not a popular Hall & Oates song.

So, as one is wont to do, I just added a Hall & Oates reference into my WIP. BECAUSE I CAN. And because everybody should listen to/dance to Hall & Oates weekly. As you can see from the above video, it makes the world a better place. Cartoon birds land on your shoulder when you listen to Hall & Oates. QED.

Right on time

Posted on July 12th, 2010 by annakjarzab

The options on Netflix Watch Instantly are getting better and better. For instance, you can watch all seasons of Doctor Who, which I’ve just started, post-Battlestar, on recommendation of Alex. I also watched this movie I’d never heard of, TiMER, which I randomly chose because of the premise. TiMER takes place in a near-future where science has developed a way to determine when you’ll meet your soul mate. In this world, you opt to get a timer on the inside of your wrist, and it counts down midnight the day you’ll first lock eyes with that special someone–so, some people have them, and some people don’t.


The protagonist of TiMER is Oona, played by Emma Caulfield, who Buffy fans will recognize as the demon Anya, Xander’s lady love. Oona is, as most female protagonists of romantic comedies tend to be, a type-A woman in her late twenties trying to find that special someone. Oona lives and dies by the idea of the timer, but hers hasn’t started counting down, which means that her One doesn’t have a timer of his own. Her step-sister/best friend, Steph, has a timer, too–one that tells her she won’t meet her One until she’s 43. Bummer. So Steph is filling her soul-mate-less days with meaningless one night stands, and Oona is freakazoiding out about her blank timer, to the point where she drags every man she dates into the store to get a timer implanted, in the hopes that both their timers will “zero out” and she’ll have found her match.

I’m totally into this idea. I was having a conversation with my friend Kim recently, and I actually said, “I would freak out about being single way less if I knew when I was going to meet the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Even if the answer was ten years from now, I could just let it go and concentrate on my own life without worrying.” Apparently not, if Steph is any indication. The film asks: Is knowing better than not knowing?

While Oona is losing her mind over not knowing, she meets Mikey, a way younger man who’s a grocery store clerk by day, musician by night. Mikey is infatuated with Oona, but Oona, being all prim and proper and a slave to the timer, takes one look at his, sees that he’s only got four months to go, and rejects the idea of dating him out of hand. Until her fourteen-year-old brother, Jesse, gets his timer implanted–and sees that he’s only got three days to go until he meets the love of his life. So Oona, sick of living her life by the whims of the timers, decides to date Mikey, who is all wrong for her, while Steph tries to engineer a meeting between Oona and this timerless guy she (Steph) met at her job.


I don’t want to spoil it for you, but I will recommend the movie. The friendship between Oona and Steph is really lovely, and so is the love story between Oona and Mikey, even as it’s not entirely predictable. Watching the movie was strange, because I kept recognizing all the actors but not knowing how I recognized them. Turns out, the guy who plays Mikey is the same guy who played Aaron Rose in Gossip Girl. I KNOW! HE IS TOTALLY GROSS IN GOSSIP GIRL! But apparently that was just the character (and the haircut), not the actor, because he’s sort of sweet and adorable in this movie. There’s, weirdly, another actor from Gossip Girl in TiMER–the guy who plays Jack Bass, Chuck’s evil uncle. He also plays Quinn in Dexter; I’d never made that connection before. He’s less of a jerk in TiMER than he is in either of those other two shows, but also less interesting. So you get what you pay for, I guess.

I also watched Anastasia today. I haven’t seen that movie in such a long time. It’s so good! I’d forgotten. Guess what I hadn’t forgotten? All the words to all the songs.